do the evolution

The other day I was driving home from work on a 5 lane street (two in each direction, one in the middle for turning) and I noticed that traffic was slowing in the outer left lane for no particular reason. Because I suffer from hyper-vigilism I immediatley started looking for a way out of the debacle. After switching lanes and regaining speed I witnessed the cause of the left-lane slow down; a cyclist. My verbal response came as an appeal to the Almighty: "Oh god, come on." I've spent a long time as a cyclist and thus one might assume I have some patience for my two-wheeled bretheren but one would be wrong. I have NONE. Because I am a cyclist, I know more than anyone else that this jerkwad should not be taking up an entire lane of rush hour traffic. I'm no saint, but would never do that on my bike; I hate to inconvienence other people way too much to exercise a symbolic right. Just because you 'can' do something doesn't mean you 'should'. We would all be pissed if a car was doing 12mph in a 35 mph zone, so why should the spandex clad nutbag get a pass? Equal treatment bro, equal treament.

Yes, yes, I know all the benefits of bike commuting Mr. Spandex Dude: you don't have to pay road taxes, you don't have to register your bike, don't have to obey any traffic rules, and best of all you get to harbour a pious attitude towards any one not biking. Its great, I've been there and I still visit occasionally. I've indulged that self serving spirit thousands of times as I pulled up to a store or building and scoffed at all the fat asses waddling from their vehicles. Now I don't care. I'm a nihilist who discovered the door to self-awareness but was too apathetic to open it. I'm an idealist who read Hume and had second thoughts. I'm a blowhard who got punched in the stomach and lost his breath. I'm a blues singer who won the lottery and lost his spirit. I'm a hackneyed blogger who has reached his limits of attempted hyperbole.