Thoughts from the dumper

I was reading a gaming magazine the other day while taking a dump, as I am known to do, when I came across an ad for a new Axe body spray. The ad was one of those type that had a sample of the fragrance mixed into a glue compound under a little slip of paper. It makes sense in the right context I guess, Axe gives it's potential customers a whiff of the new product so that they
have a mental image in mind the next time they are browsing body sprays.

Except for this was a gaming magazine which means two things:

1. It is read almost exclusively by nerds who have no need for body sprays.

2. Gaming magazines, more than other magazines are ONLY read while taking a dump. When not dumping a gamer is mostly certainly... playing games. He only engages the glossy pages while he is unable to game, which is to say, while he is evacuating the remains of his last Taco Bell binge (jesus, I gotta stop going there).

This creates a problem for both Axe and myself, namely that the next time I smell their new leather scent I'm not going to think to myself, 'wow, that smells nice I'd like to get a can of that', I'm going to think 'ugh, that reminds me of my last Taco Bell shit disaster'. I can't help it, the association is permenantly burned into my brain thanks to my ass, the ass primer I bought from TB.

I have no real point to make here other than Axe's marketing department must be full of slick looking frat boy types with popped collars who most likely don't take dumps. Really guys, fragance samples in a game magazine? Fragrance samples in ANY magazine? Do you really want your product to be associated with ass because thats what you've accomplished.
But the true-blue real loser here? Taco Bell and their rot-gut Chalupas...