Obstacle
The other day I was riding home from Galbraith Mt., down a greenway when I came across a gaggle of humans that had me absolutely perplexed. See Fig. 1 below for a technical illustration of what I saw:
Fig. 1
I'm not exagerating... the greenway was maybe 20 feet wide, and spread across the entire width was this lot: a wheelchaired old man, an old woman using a walker, an old woman using legs, and two old women walking two dogs on long leashes.
My overactive imagination started coming up with explanations immediately: maybe they mistook the Whatcom Falls Parking lot for the Old Country Buffet parking lot? Perhaps they were headed to a tea-bagger protest and got lost. Or, most likely, they had planned their excursion to coincide directly with my bike ride.
The problem with old people is that they can't hear anything. My cries of "ON YOUR LEFT" went unheeded completely. And as if coordinated by an evil math genius they were all exactly an equal distance apart so getting between them wasn't going to be easy. So I did what any sane person would in my situation, I picked up speed and aimed for a hole right between the walker and wheelchair. I figured they'd be slowest to respond anyway... and they were. As soon as I was about mid-way between them I slammed my rear brake and whipped the bike around Dog #2, regained composure quickly and bunny hopped the leash of Dog #1 and in so doing conjured up my best Mel Gibson voice and bellowed "FREEEEEEDOM!!!"
As I rode away I looked back to survey my battlefield. The lot looked mostly unaffected except for the wheel chaired woman who managed to half-heartedly raise and shake her fist at me in protest
Fig. 1
I'm not exagerating... the greenway was maybe 20 feet wide, and spread across the entire width was this lot: a wheelchaired old man, an old woman using a walker, an old woman using legs, and two old women walking two dogs on long leashes.
My overactive imagination started coming up with explanations immediately: maybe they mistook the Whatcom Falls Parking lot for the Old Country Buffet parking lot? Perhaps they were headed to a tea-bagger protest and got lost. Or, most likely, they had planned their excursion to coincide directly with my bike ride.
The problem with old people is that they can't hear anything. My cries of "ON YOUR LEFT" went unheeded completely. And as if coordinated by an evil math genius they were all exactly an equal distance apart so getting between them wasn't going to be easy. So I did what any sane person would in my situation, I picked up speed and aimed for a hole right between the walker and wheelchair. I figured they'd be slowest to respond anyway... and they were. As soon as I was about mid-way between them I slammed my rear brake and whipped the bike around Dog #2, regained composure quickly and bunny hopped the leash of Dog #1 and in so doing conjured up my best Mel Gibson voice and bellowed "FREEEEEEDOM!!!"
As I rode away I looked back to survey my battlefield. The lot looked mostly unaffected except for the wheel chaired woman who managed to half-heartedly raise and shake her fist at me in protest
Labels: obstacle course
posted by doeman at
9:49 AM
3 Comments:
Thanks for the good laugh. I was waiting for the sentence where you said you got clothes lined by the dog leash, then they ran you over with the wheel chair, beat you with the walker and stole your bike. Oh yeah, and dog number 2 peed on your head. Glad your story didn't end that way!
Or how about this: I stuffed the bunny hop, crashed, had my leg mauled by dog #1 while the walker lady peed on my head?
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