Night Riding

From a distance, the chaos is beautiful.


Immediately my mind is taken back in time 3 hours: my evening ride home from work, dodging cars and people, obeying signs, lights, and lanes; the commute, my cyclical attempt at surviving the daily grind.

But now, I’m above it all. Literally. As I rest at the break point midway up the mountain I turn off my helmet light and notice I almost don’t need it; the trees have broken away offering a full panorama of the city below me. A million points of light twinkle in silence moving to and fro. The highways look like living creatures; ancient things, dragons maybe. My brain is short on oxygen and I let it run wild. Up here I feel like a king surveying my lands; I raise my hands to exaggerate the effect. It is so strange how the chaos that enveloped me just hours ago can feel so different, so removed from the dark mountain; and not just physically but metaphorically. Down there people are toiling around with the trappings of modern life; jobs, families, entertainment, but up here things are primal; just me, a dark mountain and the bike.  

As I turn from the city and continue the climb the trees once again envelope me and complete darkness returns. The only lights now are the stars; back to basics, back to the purity of the ride.

Night riding forces a disconnect with the superfluous elements of life even more so than day-time riding. When the only spot of illumination is where your lamp points that is where your focus must always be, a fact I am reminded of as my mind drifts back to the city vista resulting in my tires momentarily sliding out from under me. It is not surprising that when you live in the chaos of the city it is hard to focus the mind on one object. But the challenge is to be cherished; I’ve yet to find another activity that offers such a vivid challenge.

Enjoy Obama supporters, enjoy

Obama, in what is becoming a not so surprising example of his decision making, has nominated a truly reprehensible figure to lead the National Council of Intelligence, Chas Freeman.

Freeman, the former US ambassador to Saudi Arabia has, as it turns out, was paid (bribed) 1 million US dollars to further Saudi interests in Washington.  Thats bad sure, but all politicians are corrupt right?  Egoism goes with the job.  What really gets me about this asshole are his views about the Tiananmen Square Massacre back in the 1990s.  For those who don't remember, Tiananmen square was the sight of a massive student protest in China, a protest for democratic government reform, human rights, and openness.  The governments response was to slaughter nearly 3,000 peaceful students in an effort to save face.  Google "tank man" for the most powerful picture of the tragedy.

This asshole, Freeman, that our dear leader Obama has nominated went on record to state that the Chinese government's one unforgivable crime at during the event was that they did not violently crack down sooner and with greater vengeance upon the peaceful protesters.  Freeman believes in a political philosophy based on the Scottish philosopher Edmund Burke's writings which does not admit the existence of rebellion.  Freeman believes that organized protest against the reigning government in any nation must be suppressed, violently.  Supression of expression, dissent and dissatisfaction with the status-quo.  This is the man Obama has nominated to lead the cryptic NIC which strategizes and plans the long term defense of our nation.  

We reap what we sow I suppose; a nation brainwashed by emotions and dreams of 'hope' unable to pull its head out of its own ass.  Chas Freeman, an enemy of liberty and free expression should occupy no position in our government.  Obama sees things differently.

Back on the Bike

It's a unique experience getting back on the trails after a long break from riding. During this past few weeks I have taken my first rides on the trails since I found out I was pregnant a little over a year ago. I rode my bike right up until our baby was born, but only on roads and gravel paths, and not very far. Now that I am healed and have a little free time between nursing sessions, it is great to get back on the bike and explore the trails in Bellingham.

A few things I've noticed about coming back after a break are: how different your body composition is, how your mind reacts as though nothing has changed, and how your confidence is once again very weak and fragile. Though I stayed in pretty good shape during pregnancy, only gaining 12lbs with an 8lb baby, and biking and walking all the way through until the birth, I still lost a lot of the muscle I had before getting pregnant. It is tough because I think I was in the best shape of my life, at least for riding, before I got pregnant.

Despite the changes in my body composition, my mind seems to think that nothing has changed, and that I can push, pull and pedal the bike the same as before. Unfortunately this is not the case, and it makes falling and crashing a lot more likely. Which brings me to my last discovery: my fragile confidence. It seems now that a small mess up or minor fall will ruin my whole ride. I just don't have the ability to brush it off and keep riding that I had before getting pregnant. I know this is normal, but it is a little frustrating as well.

Though getting back into riding will take some patience and a lot of work, it is the most wonderful feeling getting back on the bike, into the woods, and doing what I love to do.

Friday: Time to Rant

Obama's Home Mortgage bailout. Over the past few years a lot of stupid people took out huge home loans with insane interest rates and now they are defaulting on their payments, hence our economic meltdown. Obama would have the rest of us, via tax-fed bailouts pay for their mistakes. I say bullshit!, I say personal responsibility, and I say tough luck to anyone who was stupid enough to take a $400,000 home loan when they were making 20 grand a year at some dead-end job. What the hell is Obama thinking? This type of ass-backwards logic of making those who have figured out how to make money pay for those who haven't is why I could never be a democrat and I'm saying this as someone who isn't rich at all! The liberal's mindset is to view the individual as the eternal victim of malevolent corporate forces; they never seem to acknowledge that some people are just stupid and should be made to see the results of their bad choices, or at least shouldn't be instantly burried in the money of those who didn't make the same mistake.

Healthcare. Now that the elections over the furor over universal healthcare is starting to cool down. Its about goddamned time too. Universal healthcare... awesome idea for the sickly people who wouldn't have to pay in, but would gladly, constantly be taking out. What about the rest of us? Why should I, as a healthy individual, have to pay taxes for millions of sick people to receive care, especially people who are sick as a result of their own lifestyle? Why should doctors be forced to socialize their medical practices instead of controlling their own fates? My wife's father is a successful doctor in Taiwan and when his government socialized healthcare in his country he opted to keep his practice privatized. Why? He can provide better care, make his own hours, charge his own prices and operate without a bloated bureaucracy over his head. He has prospered because he is a smart man, and thats the way it should be. However if we do universalize healthcare one day it better come with some serious caveats: mandatory birth control based on economic brackets, compulsory BMI standards for all citizens, outlawing retarded alternative medicines... When you want everyone to pay for your own healthcare we will get a say in it! You make $8.00 bucks an hour and want to have a kid when you are 19? No can do sweetie! We ain't footing that bill. Broke the left side of your body hucking your bike off a 40ft drop and need us to pay your 1 million dollar hospital bill? Is that fair?

People who don't like food. You know those people, we all do. The ones who would be happy eating cottage cheese and milk the rest of their lives, the type who are always chewing on something bland and tasteless. They are the people who view food simply as a nutritional source, not as something to be celebrated and savored. I don't trust those people, whats wrong with them? I can hardly even eat Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches anymore because they are too boring. Life is too short to dull your taste buds, go eat some good Italian fettuccine alfredo with fresh seared scallops!

Chimpanzee Strength. Natural selection sure did deal us humans a raw hand in the strength department. Even though they are our close cousins they physically outclass us in a big way. A 90 pound chimpanzee is 5-7 times stronger than a muscular human, without ever working out! If we humans don't constantly exercise our body literally eats our muscles, yet a chimp can sit on its ass for 50 years and still be able to rip a 1980's Arnold Schwarzenegger to bits. Lucky chimps!

Stupidity, Noise, and Repetition. Ever notice how the dumber someone is the more they enjoy loud noises? Music, engines, their own voice, all LOUD. I imagine it has something to do with stimulation; dumb people need lots of it which is why you can bet that when the aliens come they will steer clear of theaters playing the newest Fast and the Furious movie when looking for our planet's best and brightest. Dumb people need repetition too; which is why Top 40 radio plays the same retarded songs over and over; and Will Ferrill keeps making the same movie time and time again.

Prole Migration. Its always disappointing when the masses discover something previously unknown and co-opt it for their own, a process which inevitably leads to a gradual dumbing down that things original state. Think of the last time your favorite band, book, or website became super popular and you'll feel my pain.

Thinking Poor. People who don’t have money generally think ‘poor’, that’s to be expected. The annoying thing is when people who have money think this way; you know the type, always haggling over prices, always trying to find a way to cut corners on projects. When you think poor, time becomes unimportant; you’ll drive across town to save one dollar even if costs you an hour. Thinking poor is a great way to stay stagnant in life; I’d recommend not doing it if you ever want to get anywhere. I try not to myself; and view it as a self-fulfilling prophecy. The way you see yourself has a big impact on how you present yourself to others, don’t think poor!

Doeman Theory: No Turn Signals

Whenever I talk to young kids the first thing that comes to mind is how they don't really have anything important to say. The first thing to pass their Kool-Aid stained yapper is usually something about how the dog pooped in moms flower bed and got in trouble or their hackneyed review of 'Finding Nemo' based on a 237th viewing of the film. Kids are boring sure, but beyond that they are solipsists. In general, Solipsism is an ontological philosophy which supposes that the existence of external minds is inherently unverifiable; the only mind any of us can truly be sure of is our own and thus we must be skeptical (philosophically) of the existence of a world outside our own mind.

Now before I get accused of labeling children little Cartesians let me say this: they can't help it, it is not a conscious position for them. If you need proof pay attention to how a child speaks the next time you happen to stumble across one; they will talk to you as if you already know everything they do. Children will mention names, places, and feelings without any explanation of back-story. Why? Because to them you are just another player in their own mind with access to everything they already know and feel. This poorly developed solipsism is fortunately something most children grow out of. Most, not all. Occasionally you meet adults who have not yet left the solipsism stage of intellectual development and it is always awkward because for some reason solipsistic adults are no longer naive like children; their naivety becomes an ugly narcissism and indignance. These adults expect you to know you to know what they are talking about and become offended when you don't know what they are thinking.

Think of the conversations you have every day with coworkers; you know the type, the people who comes to you in a perplexed rush and wonder why you haven't accomplished something they haven't asked you to do yet. Imagine the people in restaurants who become offended when the staff doesn't magically know how they want their food, or the people who go to the doctor with the assumption that everything they subjectively feel should somehow become known to the medical staff. Think of your loved ones who become angry when you can't telepathically sense that they've had a bad day.

Imagine, if you can, the people who don't use turn signals when driving. You know that asshole; the one who pulls up to a 4-way stop and nearly takes your life because she turns left into you without signaling her intention to turn left. Why do they do this? Solipsism, a stunted maturity that has left them narcissistic and indignant, shocked that the world does not know the content of their thoughts. I fear that our Mr. Rogers culture that proclaims everyone is special is encouraging this immaturity; this generation of self-entitled solipsists. Its a problem gentle reader and I've got more to say but for now I've got to get back to that thing... you know.

The Adventurer Stays Home

We, most of us, live lives of quiet mediocrity.  No great claims, no great adventures.  The goal it seems is to make some money, have a family and grow old slowly.  I don't find this vision ideal, and I'm sure I'm not alone.  

I think the root cause of this discontent is that there is no adventure for most of us.  I became painfully aware of this in my own life after I graduated college and began to notice that the one thing I truly looked forward to in my life was Friday: I live friday to friday.  Why?  Because it means I can sleep in, go biking, not work, blah-blah whatever.  Its no way to live, forsaking everything in between, the other days of the week only looking forward to one day for rather mundane reasons.  

The funny thing is society tells me I'm doing alright; I have a respectable job, making 'ok' money for my age and I'm glad for it sure, but its hard to ignore the persistent little voice that declares there must be something more exciting out there.  Its curious how this system we all accept tells us to graduate from school as soon as possible, get a job, have kids, and buy a house.  For what?  The 20's are the prime years of our lives, when we are at our strongest, our most resilient, and best suited for something great.  Yet no they say, chain a few anchors around your neck and stay home.  Adventures are for other people.

I think its easy to forget that we only live once.  Back when my mind was muddled by religion I use to think that it would be alright if I didn't change the world in this life because after I died I'd get to do more things, I'd get another chance.  Fortunately now I see that idea as childish notion.  

The movers and shakers throughout human history have been people who bucked the trends of their time; they weren't content to stay home, they were the culture creators not nihilists or sheep, they set about to change minds not have their minds changed.  Its easy to respect them, not so easy to see ourselves doing the same.  Sure, not many of us will do anything great on a societal level, but we are all capable of existential adventure.  I believe the key lies somewhere in not being too content with current circumstances and knowing ones own limits. Its ironic how most of us dream big as children when we are capable of little and then dream very little as adults when we are capable of much.  

For now the adventurers stay home.  Hopefully not for too long.

No Lycra No

I was riding up Mt. Galbraith the other day when I passed a couple dudes fully decked out in skin-tight lycra pants which are ironically gayer looking than lycra shorts even though they cover more skin. Whats the deal? No one, and I mean no one looks good in lycra bike shorts/pants. Take a girl with a perfect butt and put her in chamois padded lycra shorts and boom, you have an instant gremlin. Imagine, if you can, what happens to an average female body in lycra... such dark thoughts keep me from sleeping at night. My worst nightmare become real would be following an average girl on an uphill climb and never being able to pass her, and yet not being able to fall behind, always just 'there' stuck behind that most terrible sight.

Dudes aren't any better. Unfortunately when I passed those two guys the other day I vomited all over my handlebars and fork, but fortunately enough dripped onto the which trail caused them to slip and fall thus alleviating the risk of them passing me later on.

Lycra is the reason mountain biking has not hit the mainstream in a bigger way. The mental image of a 125 pound nitwit in a full neon lycra get-up, adams apple sticking out past his nose, wheezing up a hill through a deviated septum is not a picture of health or popularity. For shame... it shouldn't be so. These days we have cool looking, technical bike clothes, stuff you would feel good wearing off the bike as well as on the mountain.

To those who would accuse me of vanity let me say this: if appearance doesn't matter why not walk around with a tube sock around your junk? Or for the women, why not just go naked? All-natural! If image doesn't matter don't shave ladies, grow gardens in those armpits! Surely image does matter so stop embarrassing the rest of us with your 80s' get-ups. Some images you just can't 'un-see'.