Gluten, the great killer of white people
So, at work we had a sign-up sheet for a company picnic... the sheet had a few columns: your name, your dish, and a column for whether it was gluten free or not. I vomited all over my keyboard.
I don't know what to say. All my theories about the pussification of our country are true, TRUE!
We officially have no problems and are creating them out of thin air. Gluten allergies? Trust me, they don't exist in Africa, or China, or anywhere else people are actually hungry. But Americans man, we're all a bunch of neurotic narcissits, we need non-problems to validate our piddly existences.
This is why the terrorists hate us. Why bomb our buildings? Just fill up a couple weather balloons with Gluten and you could take out the entire east & west coasts.
I don't know what to say. All my theories about the pussification of our country are true, TRUE!
We officially have no problems and are creating them out of thin air. Gluten allergies? Trust me, they don't exist in Africa, or China, or anywhere else people are actually hungry. But Americans man, we're all a bunch of neurotic narcissits, we need non-problems to validate our piddly existences.
This is why the terrorists hate us. Why bomb our buildings? Just fill up a couple weather balloons with Gluten and you could take out the entire east & west coasts.
Labels: gluten
posted by doeman at
3:44 PM
3 Comments:
I think you are wrong on this one. Though it is kind of funny it was listed on a sign-up sheet for a company barbecue. Celiac disease, a severe form of gluten intolerance is very dangerous. Like a peanut allergy, which can send someone to the hospital. It is also a genetic disease, and I'm surprised you would mock modern science and medicine's ability to discover the source of human ailments. I also would like to point out that the disease is most common in people of european decent, particularly Irish, so it is unlikely to be a common occurrence in Asia. Although lactose intolerance, which you also seem to be skeptical of, is most prevalent among individuals of African and Asian decent, but rare among individuals of European decent. This is due to a genetic mutation that occurred in our European ancestors, making it possible for our bodies to process lactate after the age of weaning, something that humans were not genetically programed to do.
It is no coincidence that the recent knowledge gained through Genomics, has resulted in a wealth of new information about our physiology. That's not to say that the hypochondriacs out there aren't swimming in an ocean of new and exciting ailments to complain about!
Hi Sadie,
A couple things. I stand firmly behind my belief in the pussification of people in this country. 'Ailments' are an inherently subject thing to talk about; there is no state of biological normality by which we can define a deviance. This is contrary to very influential writings of Borse and others (which by the way have fueled our love of pharmaceuticals). The argument may have swung against the Borsians in the mid-90s, but it hasn't reached the level of common practice. We are obviously in love with the idea of being sick.
What were once itchy legs are now treated as a syndrome. What was once an upset stomach is now a horrible food allergy. We aren't moving goalposts to match up with modern science, we are kicking them around to redefine even the slightest discomforts as 'ailments', this connects to my other belief that we no longer have great problems in our lives, but still need something to bitch about.
Peanut allergies were almost entirely non-existent 20 years ago and now you can't not hear about them. Your daughter won't be able to take PB&J sandwhiches to her elementary school I guarantee... What a world.
Maybe in 20 years if you want to rob a bank you won't need a gun, you'll just need a spatchula with a glob of Jiffys on the end. Give me the money or the chick gets the peanut butter!
I agree that everyone seems to be looking for something wrong with them. With all the "knowledge", and I use that term very lightly, available on the internet, too many people are self diagnosing. And I have to say that way to many children are diagnosed with ADHD and prescribed ritalin, when the real problem is too much time sitting in front of a screen and not enough running around.
As for the peanut allergy. I'm guessing you have never seen someone with one exposed to peanut butter. We had a child in our preschool and we kept the peanut butter and nuts away from him, but somehow every few times it was served he some how got exposed to it (by touching something that had peanut butter fingers on it?) and his face would swell up and his eyes and lips would get all red and puffy. It was not a pretty site, and not something you would just ignore. I also have cared for an infant during her diagnosis with Celiacs. Anytime she had gluten her belly would blow up and be hard as a rock, so she looked like one of those malnourished kids from a third world nation. I know there are plenty of people who have only minor irritations from foods, and in my opinion it is up to them whether they eat them, and they should not make nearly as big a deal about telling everyone about their intolerance to _____. But, I also think there are also a number of people who have a real allergy. In my experience though, these people generally know from a young age to stay away from the foods that they are allergic too, and don't make a big deal out of it.
I have to say that our country consumes way more processed food then other nations, which means a lot more hidden ingredients. It's no surprise that we have so many minor reactions to the foods we eat, when we are eating so much crap. Ok, crying baby, I guess that's enough writing for me.
Post a Comment
<< Home