Worthless Majors... ?
I'm a sucker for top 10 lists so naturally when I found one called "Top 10 Worthless Majors" I had to read it because I knew philosophy just had to be on there.
Philosophy - Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job:
This isn’t ancient Greece: No one is going to pay you money, or allow you to sodomize their attractive son, in exchange for your knowledge of existence. Never has there been an employer who’s said “Man, we’re having all kinds of problems, I wish we had someone on our team who could reference and draw conclusions from the story of Siddhartha that would pull up our fourth quarter numbers.” I took many philosophy classes and it involved reading and smoking a shit pile of weed. You don’t need to pay 20,000 dollars a year to do that. All you need is twenty dollars and a library card.
What Job You’ll End Up With:
Thanks to your extensive knowledge of philosophy, you’re now self-aware enough to know that most jobs out there will make you totally miserable. So most likely you’ll wait tables part time and hope someone starts paying you for the bi-monthly entries on your blog.
Ok sure. I chuckled inside my head a little but the author could have done a lot better. There are a lot of philosophy major sterotypes he could have exploited for better humorous effect. But oh well.
As I kept reading it turns out my buddy Nate's major, communications made the list too!
Communications - Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job:
Go into a communications class on any given day and it’ll smell like dried semen and booze. Reason being, communications is the major for anyone who wants to graduate, but doesn’t want to stop getting totally wasted on weekdays. Here’s the bad news, if an employer is going to hire someone to help decipher how human beings communicate, he’s going to hire someone with the letters “Dr.” before their name, not the person who first checks to see if a class is offered online, then when they find out it’s not, let’s out a “gaaaaay bro.”
What Job You’ll End Up With:
You’ll go to several job interviews that turn out to be pyramid schemes, even though at first you won’t realize this and come home and tell your parents, who you still live with, “They said I’ll probably be making six figures in less than a year just by selling these beer cozies.”
If I was going to make my own list I would have added 'Minority Studies', 'Queer Studies', or 'Hawaiian Studies' to my list; only on the basis that they are equally non job specific and pretty funny all in their own right. But really I'm glad university's have niche or ancient degrees like philosophy, queer studies, communications, or even art history. If I was purely concerned with making money I would have went to a trade school and not a university!
Philosophy - Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job:
This isn’t ancient Greece: No one is going to pay you money, or allow you to sodomize their attractive son, in exchange for your knowledge of existence. Never has there been an employer who’s said “Man, we’re having all kinds of problems, I wish we had someone on our team who could reference and draw conclusions from the story of Siddhartha that would pull up our fourth quarter numbers.” I took many philosophy classes and it involved reading and smoking a shit pile of weed. You don’t need to pay 20,000 dollars a year to do that. All you need is twenty dollars and a library card.
What Job You’ll End Up With:
Thanks to your extensive knowledge of philosophy, you’re now self-aware enough to know that most jobs out there will make you totally miserable. So most likely you’ll wait tables part time and hope someone starts paying you for the bi-monthly entries on your blog.
Ok sure. I chuckled inside my head a little but the author could have done a lot better. There are a lot of philosophy major sterotypes he could have exploited for better humorous effect. But oh well.
As I kept reading it turns out my buddy Nate's major, communications made the list too!
Communications - Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job:
Go into a communications class on any given day and it’ll smell like dried semen and booze. Reason being, communications is the major for anyone who wants to graduate, but doesn’t want to stop getting totally wasted on weekdays. Here’s the bad news, if an employer is going to hire someone to help decipher how human beings communicate, he’s going to hire someone with the letters “Dr.” before their name, not the person who first checks to see if a class is offered online, then when they find out it’s not, let’s out a “gaaaaay bro.”
What Job You’ll End Up With:
You’ll go to several job interviews that turn out to be pyramid schemes, even though at first you won’t realize this and come home and tell your parents, who you still live with, “They said I’ll probably be making six figures in less than a year just by selling these beer cozies.”
If I was going to make my own list I would have added 'Minority Studies', 'Queer Studies', or 'Hawaiian Studies' to my list; only on the basis that they are equally non job specific and pretty funny all in their own right. But really I'm glad university's have niche or ancient degrees like philosophy, queer studies, communications, or even art history. If I was purely concerned with making money I would have went to a trade school and not a university!
posted by Joel at
12:26 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home