Friday Diarrhea
Thoughts:
Cats are better pets than dogs
My cat craps in a box and then burries her newly created treasure with smell-blocking litter. My cat never stinks, she gives herself daily baths. My cat doesn't make a mess. Hell, if you didn't see her you wouldn't be able to tell she lives with us. My cat does not worship me, she is only vaguely aware of my existence, I'm not an insecure person so I like that. When kitty sleeps on my lap while I play xbox 360 she is warm and therefore keeps me warm. I like that, I don't have to turn the heater on so often.
Dogs are loud and stupid. When my neighboor's poor-ass relative comes to visit them she leaves her small poodle thing in her crappy truck right outside my window. The poodle will bark for as long as her owner is away, often more than 5 hours. I HATE DOGS THAT BARK.
Dogs are insanely loyal and will protect their owners. Stupid people love this fact and will collect as many viscious dogs as they can as. For some reason viscous dogs are a status symbol retards. Hitler had a dog, and you better believe his dog loved him. What does that say about a dogs ability to read people?
Dogs don't poop in boxes, they poop only on carpets and anywhere I might be walking later that day.
People that love dogs are weird; why do you need an animal to worship you?
posted by Joel at
12:48 PM
2 Comments:
Joel I resent this post. My husky far from worships me, and he prefers to sleep under the bed or outside in the winter. I have never once seen where he poops, but I can tell you it is not in the house or yard. He washes himself in the snow, and stays relatively clean in the summer. Dogs don't scratch or bite your feet in your sleep. They don't spray or howl through the night, and you don't have to clean their litter box. I do agree that little dogs should be fed to the lions at the zoo!
Ah, a salient challenge to my feline-fundamentalism. Well taken.
My cat does pee on the futon and if I scold her she gets mads. Cats are almost incapable of being taught. Dogs are better that way.
When in heat kitty wants to have sex with me... Sabrina... or any other pointed object. This is slightly bothersome.
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